Getting Married in South Korea – The True Picture

Posted date: April 29, 2012 | comment : 3

I recently read this post on Reuters about Getting Married in South Korea? Bring a lot of cash! and there are the few things one can learn about the lifestyle and living standards of Koreans and get some insight if you are planning to get married in Korea.

As per the article – More and More Koreans locked in Debt Cycle (Chosun llbo) – Many young couples have taken out loans to pay for their weddings and cover their jeonse or Korean-style lease deposits. They are taking out loans twice the size of their assets in the early stage of their married lives. It is nearly impossible to get married these days without getting into debt unless parents pitch in.

Another article – Wedding Costs exceeds W200 Million – say that heightened expectations, the desire to be ostentatious and the indulgence of doting parents all lead to this trend of expensive weddings. The surge in wedding expenses were related to rising real estate prices.

South Korean Couple getting married in Korea – Photo Credit – Jeremy Fox

In South Korea a couple wanting to get married needs lots of money, nearly $200,000 – more than four times their average annual income. (Average annual household income in South Korea is around 48.3 million Korean Won – $48,000 annually).
Korean society is very tightly knit, and people here are very concerned about how others view them. The wedding works as a status symbol, like a marker of where you stand in the society
Korean couples take out loans or borrow money from their parents for a wedding
Gift-giving and housing contribute towards the majority of the wedding expenses in Korea
Other expenses could be towards wedding photography, honeymoon, wedding invites and selecting venue for the wedding

To know more about Korean Wedding read the book – Getting Married in Korea by Laurel Kendall. Kendall attended her first Korean wedding in 1970, soon after she arrived in the country with the Peace Corps. Years later, as a seasoned anthropologist, she began interviewing both working-class and middle-class couples, matchmakers, purveyors of dowry goods, and proprietors of wedding halls. She consulted etiquette handbooks and women’s magazines and analyzed cartoons, photographs, and weddings themselves. The result is an engaging account of how marriage matches are made, how families proceed through the rites, how they finance ceremonies and elaborate exchanges of ritual goods, and how these practices are integral to the construction of adult identities and notions of ideal women and men. The book is also a reflection on what it means to write “Korea” in a complex and ever changing social milieu.

Getting Married in Korea by Laurel Kendall

Comments (3)

rich

April 30, 2012 at 4:11 am

You found a good article. There are a few things they didn’t mention in their article though. While the husband-to-be(‘s family) buys/gets a place to live the girl(‘s family) will purchase new everything to furnish the property. Involves 40+ inch TV, bed, fridge, stove, couch, stove, pots pans dishes, etc. A new life together so everything should be new.

Although the cost of the wedding service itself is very pricey guests give gifts of cash. Notes are taken as to who gives how much and then the best man hands cash to the various companies at work for the wedding service; wedding hall, catering. Depending on who you talk to “normal” gifts are at least 20~25,000 won ($20~$24) a head which helps to pay for most of the wedding. But the closer relationship you have with the couple the larger gift you are expected to pay. New cash is sometimes chosen (again, new start), always put in white envelopes, and avoid using the number “4″, ex: 40,000 won, as “4″ is an unlucky number.

For international couples a lot is up for change. Most mixed couples do a wedding in his and/or her home country. Most mixed couples I met didn’t do as big a wedding or spend a lot on furnishing their apartment. We:
-did a wedding service in her birth country, the country where we live and first met each other, and are planning for one in my home country; total of 3. This also means any mistakes aren’t huge because this isn’t the only service you’ll have That was an unexpected bonus.
-didn’t buy a ton of gifts for our respective families.
-had our wedding and catering in a church as opposed to a wedding hall, and everyone that came were close friends and family.
-were very careful to not borrow money or go into debt. This meant cutting back on some things that weren’t as showy.
-used all the kitchen stuff we already had and our furniture is a mix of new and old.

Reply
- TheKoreaGuide
  
  April 30, 2012 at 9:33 am
  
  Thanks Rich. I am sure your comments would be helpful to non-koreans who are planning to get married in Korea. Couples can work out a beautiful marriage within their budget if they do not give-in to the community and social pressures in Korea. And the understanding need to be on both the sides of the family. I believe your and Nyo’s marriage has been a good example for couples who want to work things out.
  
  Reply